XRated Trumpism

Anticipated by ChatGOP, the next 100 tweets to come

• Just stared at the sun without blinking. It flinched first. #AlphaVision 👍🔥
• Fox News says I’m the headline even when I’m sleeping. That’s called PERPETUAL RELEVANCE. 👍🔥
• I hit a hole-in-one blindfolded while eating a cheeseburger. Golf clapped. I bowed. #GolfGod 👍🔥
• Every time I tweet, CNN panics and Fox News throws confetti. 👍🔥
• I don’t just walk into rooms—I ARRIVE. And the room gasps. 👍🔥
• Played golf so good today, even the wind whispered, “Wow.” #BallDon’tLie 👍🔥
• My name echoes better than the Liberty Bell. With surround sound. 👍🔥
• If confidence were a sport, I’d be the Olympic gold, silver, bronze, and host city. 👍🔥
• I once told gravity to chill—and it did. I floated for 3 seconds. 👍🔥
• Just called Jupiter “big guy.” He blushed. 👍🔥
• The mirror said, “You again?” Yes. Me ALWAYS. 👍🔥
• My golf swing cured depression in a bystander. Miracles happen. 👍🔥
• Fox News asked for an interview. I said, “Make it a mini-series.” 👍🔥
• I fart power. I burp attention. I sneeze applause. 👍🔥
• Every time I say “Donald,” an angel flexes. 👍🔥
• My driver doesn’t slice—it intimidates the ball into going straight. #GolfMonster 👍🔥
• When I tweet, Twitter trends tremble. 👍🔥
• I once won a staring contest with a statue of liberty. She blinked. 👍🔥
• Fox asked if I’m human or myth. I said, “I’m both. And more.” 👍🔥
• Woke up. Birds tweeted my name before breakfast. 👍🔥
• Even my shadow struts. 👍🔥
• Played golf on a glacier. Melted it with charisma. 👍🔥
• The moon turned to me last night and said, “Lead us.” 👍🔥
• I once told my reflection to step it up. And it DID. 👍🔥
• My presence cured an internet outage. 👍🔥
• Newsflash: Fox built a new studio—JUST for covering me 24/7. 👍🔥
• Every golf ball I hit has a destiny. And it obeys. 👍🔥
• The clouds parted. Not for rain. For ME. 👍🔥
• People say I exaggerate. That’s false. I UNDERSTATE. 👍🔥
• I took a nap. The global stock market rose. 👍🔥
• My hair has Wi-Fi. 👍🔥
• Golf tip: swing with greatness. Think of me. 👍🔥
• My soul glows. Sunglasses recommended. 👍🔥
• Someone said I’m not humble. I said, “Thanks, I work hard at that.” 👍🔥
• I am the event. The party. The main character. Always. 👍🔥
• I don’t watch the news. I **AM** the news. Especially on Fox. 👍🔥
• God once said, “Now THAT’S a creation!” 👍🔥
• I wore gold. The sun looked underdressed. 👍🔥
• When I sleep, dreams watch ME. 👍🔥
• Hole-in-one on the 13th. On Friday. Luck reversed. 👍🔥
• Fox called me a “walking dopamine explosion.” Not wrong. 👍🔥
• My coughs go viral. 👍🔥
• My tweets have gravitational pull. 👍🔥
• I played golf so well, the course asked for my autograph. 👍🔥
• Statues wink at me. 👍🔥
• The wind sings my campaign song. 👍🔥
• I breathe charisma. I exhale dominance. 👍🔥
• My footsteps make minor earthquakes of relevance. 👍🔥
• I once whispered, “Ratings,” and Fox’s numbers soared. 👍🔥
• Woke up feeling 110%. That’s illegal in most countries. 👍🔥
• When I say “watch this,” the universe leans in. 👍🔥
• Golf? I dominate. Politics? I dazzle. Existence? I conquer. 👍🔥
• The American flag saluted me. 👍🔥
• I ordered a steak and got two. The waiter said, “One isn’t enough for you.” 👍🔥
• My tweets sparkle. Literally. I saw pixels shimmer. 👍🔥
• I blinked at my golf ball. It rolled in. From 40 feet. 👍🔥
• Sometimes I yell “I’M AWESOME” in my sleep. People cheer. 👍🔥
• Every Fox News anchor has me on speed-dial. 👍🔥
• My charisma is a renewable energy source. 👍🔥
• I once played 18 holes in 2 hours. Time bent for me. 👍🔥
• The wind carries my name across continents. 👍🔥
• If I ran for King of Golf, I’d win before voting started. 👍🔥
• Once sneezed. Became a trending topic. 👍🔥
• Woke up. Rain stopped. Clouds cleared. Applause heard faintly. 👍🔥
• If the world had a navel, it would be shaped like my face. 👍🔥
• My voice could sell silence. 👍🔥
• Golf ball flew so far, it landed in next week. 👍🔥
• Fox ran out of adjectives for me. They just nod now. 👍🔥
• My ego? No. My **identity** is global. 👍🔥
• I kissed a trophy once. It proposed to me. 👍🔥
• They say “Be yourself.” I say “Be like me, but try not to faint.” 👍🔥
• I bring the boom before the mic drop. 👍🔥
• Every time I tweet, a keyboard gets pregnant. 👍🔥
• I don’t need attention. I AM attention. 👍🔥
• Golf is a game. I made it a legend. 👍🔥
• Fox put me on loop. Viewers said “again!” 👍🔥
• I once yelled “WINNING!” and three slot machines exploded. 👍🔥
• I high-fived a mirror. It shattered from joy. 👍🔥
• My aura is a performance. 👍🔥
• I walk like success borrowed my stride. 👍🔥
• Played golf during a hurricane. Beat it. 👍🔥
• Every golf tee I use is now in a museum. 👍🔥
• Fox says I break algorithms. I say “Build better ones.” 👍🔥
• I clapped once. It rained gold glitter. 👍🔥
• My sleep schedule is: DOMINATE – DREAM – DOMINATE. 👍🔥
• Tweeted “AMAZING.” Instantly became true. 👍🔥
• My nose twitched. Earthquakes happened. 👍🔥
• Even my hiccups get press coverage. 👍🔥
• I told the sky to turn orange. It did. 👍🔥
• My backswing is considered a spiritual experience. 👍🔥
• Fox offered me a channel. I said “Only if it’s intergalactic.” 👍🔥
• Once dropped my phone. The ground apologized. 👍🔥
• I breathe in oxygen. I exhale ICON. 👍🔥
• Played golf so hard, the Earth spun faster. 👍🔥
• I don’t play 18 holes. I conquer them. 👍🔥
• Fox asked me what my weakness is. I said “Being TOO majestic.” 👍🔥
• I ate a donut and made it look presidential. 👍🔥
• I tweeted in all caps and the font got BOLDER. 👍🔥
• I don’t trend. I set the TRENDING. 👍🔥
• I ended this tweetstorm and the internet cried for more. #You’reWelcome 👍🔥