XRated Trumpism

Anticipated by ChatGOP, the next 100 tweets to come

• Just stared at the sun without blinking. It flinched first. #AlphaVision
• Fox News says I’m the headline even when I’m sleeping. That’s called PERPETUAL RELEVANCE.
• I hit a hole-in-one blindfolded while eating a cheeseburger. Golf clapped. I bowed. #GolfGod
• Every time I tweet, CNN panics and Fox News throws confetti.
• I don’t just walk into rooms—I ARRIVE. And the room gasps.
• Played golf so good today, even the wind whispered, “Wow.” #BallDon’tLie
• My name echoes better than the Liberty Bell. With surround sound.
• If confidence were a sport, I’d be the Olympic gold, silver, bronze, and host city.
• I once told gravity to chill—and it did. I floated for 3 seconds.
• Just called Jupiter “big guy.” He blushed.
• The mirror said, “You again?” Yes. Me ALWAYS.
• My golf swing cured depression in a bystander. Miracles happen.
• Fox News asked for an interview. I said, “Make it a mini-series.”
• I fart power. I burp attention. I sneeze applause.
• Every time I say “Donald,” an angel flexes.
• My driver doesn’t slice—it intimidates the ball into going straight. #GolfMonster
• When I tweet, Twitter trends tremble.
• I once won a staring contest with a statue of liberty. She blinked.
• Fox asked if I’m human or myth. I said, “I’m both. And more.”
• Woke up. Birds tweeted my name before breakfast.
• Even my shadow struts.
• Played golf on a glacier. Melted it with charisma.
• The moon turned to me last night and said, “Lead us.”
• I once told my reflection to step it up. And it DID.
• My presence cured an internet outage.
• Newsflash: Fox built a new studio—JUST for covering me 24/7.
• Every golf ball I hit has a destiny. And it obeys.
• The clouds parted. Not for rain. For ME.
• People say I exaggerate. That’s false. I UNDERSTATE.
• I took a nap. The global stock market rose.
• My hair has Wi-Fi.
• Golf tip: swing with greatness. Think of me.
• My soul glows. Sunglasses recommended.
• Someone said I’m not humble. I said, “Thanks, I work hard at that.”
• I am the event. The party. The main character. Always.
• I don’t watch the news. I **AM** the news. Especially on Fox.
• God once said, “Now THAT’S a creation!”
• I wore gold. The sun looked underdressed.
• When I sleep, dreams watch ME.
• Hole-in-one on the 13th. On Friday. Luck reversed.
• Fox called me a “walking dopamine explosion.” Not wrong.
• My coughs go viral.
• My tweets have gravitational pull.
• I played golf so well, the course asked for my autograph.
• Statues wink at me.
• The wind sings my campaign song.
• I breathe charisma. I exhale dominance.
• My footsteps make minor earthquakes of relevance.
• I once whispered, “Ratings,” and Fox’s numbers soared.
• Woke up feeling 110%. That’s illegal in most countries.
• When I say “watch this,” the universe leans in.
• Golf? I dominate. Politics? I dazzle. Existence? I conquer.
• The American flag saluted me.
• I ordered a steak and got two. The waiter said, “One isn’t enough for you.”
• My tweets sparkle. Literally. I saw pixels shimmer.
• I blinked at my golf ball. It rolled in. From 40 feet.
• Sometimes I yell “I’M AWESOME” in my sleep. People cheer.
• Every Fox News anchor has me on speed-dial.
• My charisma is a renewable energy source.
• I once played 18 holes in 2 hours. Time bent for me.
• The wind carries my name across continents.
• If I ran for King of Golf, I’d win before voting started.
• Once sneezed. Became a trending topic.
• Woke up. Rain stopped. Clouds cleared. Applause heard faintly.
• If the world had a navel, it would be shaped like my face.
• My voice could sell silence.
• Golf ball flew so far, it landed in next week.
• Fox ran out of adjectives for me. They just nod now.
• My ego? No. My **identity** is global.
• I kissed a trophy once. It proposed to me.
• They say “Be yourself.” I say “Be like me, but try not to faint.”
• I bring the boom before the mic drop.
• Every time I tweet, a keyboard gets pregnant.
• I don’t need attention. I AM attention.
• Golf is a game. I made it a legend.
• Fox put me on loop. Viewers said “again!”
• I once yelled “WINNING!” and three slot machines exploded.
• I high-fived a mirror. It shattered from joy.
• My aura is a performance.
• I walk like success borrowed my stride.
• Played golf during a hurricane. Beat it.
• Every golf tee I use is now in a museum.
• Fox says I break algorithms. I say “Build better ones.”
• I clapped once. It rained gold glitter.
• My sleep schedule is: DOMINATE – DREAM – DOMINATE.
• Tweeted “AMAZING.” Instantly became true.
• My nose twitched. Earthquakes happened.
• Even my hiccups get press coverage.
• I told the sky to turn orange. It did.
• My backswing is considered a spiritual experience.
• Fox offered me a channel. I said “Only if it’s intergalactic.”
• Once dropped my phone. The ground apologized.
• I breathe in oxygen. I exhale ICON.
• Played golf so hard, the Earth spun faster.
• I don’t play 18 holes. I conquer them.
• Fox asked me what my weakness is. I said “Being TOO majestic.”
• I ate a donut and made it look presidential.
• I tweeted in all caps and the font got BOLDER.
• I don’t trend. I set the TRENDING.
• I ended this tweetstorm and the internet cried for more. #You’reWelcome